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This aspect of my life is proving to be very tricky. I have survived surgeries, physical therapy, even those long school years, so why is dealing with new people around my own age so difficult? For the most part, I think it's my appearance that some people can't handle. I do look crippled, I know that. People who grew up with me know me and think of me as Myra, not the girl with Arthritis. Trying to meet new people, especially men, that's not going so well. For the most part I meet most people while I'm on the internet through chats or e-mail, they never see me, and I don't jump out and say "hey I'm handicapped"; lets face it, that would be just plain strange of me. :) So I meet all kinds of interesting people and we chat for awhile. After some time they want to know more about me and at that point I'll mention the JRA and try to describe it nice and gently. Oh, this sends people running. To an extent I can understand but it's not like they have to stop chatting with me, I'm not going to hurt anyone. Of course, simply leaving a chat is fine, I can handle that. The wimps can't take me, so be it. :) But the few guys I have tried to meet in person, even after I told them about the JRA, have this terrible look on their face when they first see me. They seem to drip with disappointment, that is what can hurt. I really do understand not wanting to be with a little crippled lady, but come on people, show a little consideration please. The other small problem I have is people (again those who don't know me well mostly) treating me like a child. I admit it, I do look young, but I'm no idiot and I have no mental handicap. Ok granted, by nature I'm usually a very energetic and active person, and I do like to have fun and try new things, which may be taken a child like characteristics to some; but for me it's just having fun. I do have a perfectly normal and serious side when it comes to my work, I have always paid my bills, bought what I need, and been very responsible over all. I was raised to be level headed and logical, I just happen to like to play as well :) So lets get back to the idea of a social life. Going out with friends, maybe a date or two, finding Mr. Right (oh, I hope to someday), why don't I get to do these things anymore? I don't really know. I guess it's partly because all the people I grew up with have moved away, and on with their lives. I can keep in touch via e-mail but it's just not the same. And all new people I meet seem to really get hung up on my appearance. It can be so frustrating at times. I'm sure it's no help that I stand only 5', and looking up at really tall people is rather uncomfortable for me too.. :) And what about the importance of personality? I certainly hope that is not lost. I've been told i have a very warm and caring personality, that should count for more than my appearance. At least I'd like to think so. No I don't want pity, or any of that, what good would it do anyways. Mostly I'm just looking for a bit of a social life, and to find the right guy and settle down. A family may even be nice in the future. :) Is this article just a big 'ol personals ad, oh yes.. :) |